West Ham! Following a number of rigorous arguments - on which, more later - I was ultimately persuaded by my dear friend Jodie, who pointed out that they are reasonably local, have pretty colours (what colour is ‘claret’, exactly? Scarlet? More of a maroon?) middling in quality, and that I could watch the games in a pub in Victoria Park with her boyfriend (whether he’s happy about this is, admittedly, not confirmed). Now to learn loads about them so that I can care about their game against Wolverhampton (who?) tomorrow.