I’m back from my travels, where I was briefly tempted by FC Utrecht but did not ultimately stray from my dedication to West Ham. Now that I can re-focus on my football project, I have set myself the following goals for the next month:

- Work on my statistical knowledge about the team. Apparently statistics are important. I am going to make a spreadsheet.

- Listen to a game on the radio, which I think sounds tedious but apparently is great fun.

- Start contributing to fan websites and see if I am able to pass as genuine.

- Go to Upton Park to watch a game in one of the West Ham pubs. Er, not on my own.